Thursday, January 16, 2014

Jealously is a Robber

Jealously is a robber….

It robs you of connections…it robs you of friendships… it robs you happiness…it robs you of your own strength…it robs you of security… it robs you of your self-esteem, self-worth and your image… Jealously robs you of being your best self! 

Jealously is a robber…

Jealously steals the destiny and the purpose of the innocent and guilty alike… The innocent often allow others to stagnate their growth for the sake of saving {face}.  And the guilty cannot grow because they too busy hindering the growth of the innocent…In the end jealously wins because neither of them are able to fulfill their destiny and purpose! The Song of Soloman 8:6 states that love is as strong as death and jealously is as cruel as the grave… Yes, jealously brings death to your destiny and purpose!

Jealously is a robber….

So why do we allow it to creep into our homes, our marriages, our friendship, our jobs, our ministries and the like? I know why… I have been there… We allow it {meaning jealously} to come in and rob us because we do not have the courage to face the TRUTH!   And the truth is that {We Want} what {They Have}, but we don’t have the {Faith}, the {Courage} or the {Power} to believe that we can obtain just that and more!  And to make matters worse, we allow {Pride} to rob us of seeking their wisdom and guidance on how they got there!  So now our initial fear and insecurity teams up jealously and pride and creates in us a green-eyed monster that steals, kills and destroys our hopes, our dreams and our ambitions!  We cannot {Thrive} because we have given jealously the power to {Drive}!

Jealously is a robber….

Competition breads jealously…. I started competing in pageants as a little girl… I remember getting dressed at home and thinking that I was the cutest thing on the block!  When I arrived at the auditorium, I was surrounded by a sea of beautiful girls that all had beautiful dresses… Because I didn’t have a good self-image… I began to tear down others… {Her eyes looks like Elsie the cow....Her lips are as big as spaceships…That purple dress must have been borrowed from Barney}But when my opportunity came to hit the stage and the lights, camera were waiting for my reaction… My tearing them down did not build me up! As a matter a fact what was really in me manifested…Fear, low self-esteem and rejection!  When I look back on those pictures… I can see it all over my face! I allowed jealously to rob me of that moment because I was competing with what was around me instead of what was in me!    I was a pageant competitor until I was 25…and at my last pageant, I was crowned Miss United States Sophisticate.  I remember taking off my heels after the strap broke…thinking I am tired of the competition!  You see the competition didn’t start and stop at the pageant, it carried over into every area of my life! Competing with friends, competing for men, competing for jobs…. It was draining!  I knew there was more to life and I was determined to get it!

Celebration and Separation Conquers Jealously

When I started the process of being free from a spirit of jealously; there were two things that I had to do. 

#1- Celebrate others before jealously set in.

#2- Separate myself from those who breed {jealously}! 

Let me take a second to expound on #2!  Yes, there are people who breed jealously.  They actually get their energy, their  power and their motivation from others being jealous of them!!! These are the individuals that talk about themselves 25/8, they are inconsiderate and purposely say and do things that make you feel worse about yourself/your situation.  For example… You tell them that you had to forfeit buying a new dress because you had to pay unexpected bill… And their response is that they went shopping earlier that day and pick up that {same} dress {because they liked it too}, two Louis Vuitton purses and six pair of shoes… Don’t get me wrong, they have every right to buy what they want…But a true friend would have offered some encouraging words instead of jumping on the opportunity to {breed jealously}.

So that's why I had to separate myself from those individuals while I was in the healing process… They too needed help, but I couldn’t help anyone until I helped myself! 

Okay, let’s go back to #1… Celebrate others before jealously set in.

By making a conscious effort to do this… I was eventually able to do this even in the scenario that I described in #2.  I mean… When I started celebrating the successes of really became a stepping stone for me to see that success was possible!  It was kind of like the old childhood game that I used to play outside… called Punchinello…

 What can you do,

Punchinello, funny fellow?

 What can you do,

 Punchinello, funny you?


We can do it, too,

 Punchinello, funny fellow,

 We can do it, too,

 Punchinello, funny you!


You choose one of us,

 Punchinello, funny fellow,

 You choose one of us,

 Punchinello, funny you!

You see to play the game all the kids would stand in a circle. One child stands in the center as Punchinello.

In Verse 1 - Punchinello makes motions while other children sing. In Verse 2 - Children forming the circle around Punchinello imitate motions. In Verse 3 - Punchinello chooses someone to take his/her place.

I began to realize that while I was singing Punchinello was moving and after I finished singing… I had the opportunity to imitate the move that Punchinello had just made…

You see in life we are very much like this game. When you see the Punchinello’s in your life achieving their goals and successes just sing… Celebrate with them!  Eventually, opportunity will come for you to imitate the move that they just made.  And as you keep on praising and celebrating God will pick you to be front and center and you will be able to bust a move that is uniquely you.. And there will be others watching and waiting to imitate you!!!

There is nothing wrong with imitation!  God made us in His image and likeness… However, the problem comes in we allow jealously to cause us to try and duplicate and not imitate! 

When you duplicate…you try to be….When you imitate you try to be like… There is something about their ways, their personality, their style that you like… and you incorporate those “likes” into your own! There’s a difference!

I pray that this post will bless somebody, somewhere that is striving for better!  Remember, jealously is a robber don’t be its next victim!  Protect yourself by separating and celebrating!  You will find that celebrating them will bring elevation to you!


Jan said...

You are so right...

Thank you for your insight and beautiful spirit that acknowledges that God's unique design for each of us is to shine as He wants us to.

There are many purple flowers, but each one unique...each one beautiful!

M'Shonta said...

Thanks so much Jan!!! So glad that it could be a blessing to you!!!!